>joins pirate collective in Bosnia
>leader seems pretty cool, tells me I'll have access to easy travel and vast riches if I crew a couple voyages
>first job is to find some albanian dude who apparently stole a couple barrels of rakija from the boss
>we track him to a port just outside of Tirana
>boss asks me to take care of it
>I go into the main office (some building that's falling apart with like 10 dudes outside smoking cigs)
>ask for Gjerji but no one seems to know him
>finally see the dude running out of the back window
>ah fuck, i gotta chase this dude don't i?
>i chase the dude for about half a kilometer, through some fucking random farms and shit, he knocks over like five old ladies on the way
>finally catch him while he's trying to light a cigarette
>tells me he doesn't know anything about the rakija and if he did, he'd have drank it already himself. i just let it go
>10 weeks later
>we're outside of algiers for some fucking reason, i can't get my head around why and the salt of the sea is getting to me
>boss tells me we're running out of beans, money and dreams
>later that night (i shit you not) i see him getting in a lifeboat and he falls into the sea
>from the boat he yells "boat is your now, kid"
>rest of the crew tries to steal my wallet and leaves the same way (saying they're going partying in algiers with some dude named maurice)
>are you FUCKING kidding me? (keep in mind i don't even have a driving license)
>i manage to steer the thing to hong kong where i sell it for about 2000USD
>buy some beers and a one way flight to Boise
>moral of the story, NEVER sail the high seas